美剧《燃情克利夫兰》第三季第一集Part412-中英文对照台词剧本

《燃情克利夫兰》上季提要
Last season on Hot In Cleveland...
你是在向我求婚吗
Are you asking me to marry you?
如果你愿意的话
If you"ll have me.
你喂狗狗药给大家吃
You dosed us with dog drugs?
不是故意的
Well, not on purpose.
这看起来很像阿司匹林的瓶子
It looks just like the aspirin bottle.
我刚注意到...
I"ve just noticed I"m...
我戴着结婚戒指
I"m wearing a wedding ring.
我昨晚结婚了吗
Did I get married last night?
不知道 昨晚的事我们什么都不记得
We don"t know. We don"t know what we did last night.
我以安大略省
Therefore, by the power vested in me
赋予我的权利宣布
by the province of Ontario...
咱俩结婚了
We"re married!
-爱尔卡 别嫁给他 -迈克斯
- Elka, don"t do it! - Max?
嫁给我
Marry me!
我根本就不该放你走
I should have never let you go.
她才不会跟你们这帮衰仔结婚
She"s not gonna marry any of you losers.
她已经嫁给我了
She"s already married to me.
爱尔卡 那是谁
Elka, who is that?
我的死鬼老公
My dead husband!
-爱尔卡 -爱尔卡
- Elka! - Elka?
她不在客房
She"s not in the guest house.
她能躲到哪儿去呢
Where could she be?
叛徒
Snitch!
他们有从教堂跟回来吗
Did they follow you from church?
没有 你落跑后 他们还在争斗
No. When you ran off, they were still fighting.
我有借来的东西 有蓝色的东西
I had something borrowed and something blue.
[美国新娘必备四件 旧新借蓝]
可没想到旧的东西 竟然是我的死鬼老公
I didn"t think my something old would be my dead husband.
是我的经纪人
Oh, it"s my agent.
但是我不接
But I"m not even gonna take it.
现在的情况太严重了
That"s how important this situation is.
真可怜 你一定很吃惊吧
You poor thing. You must be in shock.
是啊 太对了
Yeah, you"re right.
估计大家还得吃惊一会儿
It"s just gonna be hanging over everyone"s head,
我还是给他打回去吧
so I"ll just call him back and, you know...
你收到一条短信
Oh. You"re getting a text.
靠 我教他们发短信干什么
Oh, why did I teach them to text?
读吧
Read it.
是弗雷德
It"s from Fred.
爱尔卡 求你了 我的心都碎了
"Elka, please, my heart is breaking.
-哈哈哈 -哈哈哈
- LOL." - LOL?
[LOL: laugh out loud]
他以为是很爱你的意思[缩写同为LOL]
Oh, he thinks it means lots of love.
我感觉糟透了
Oh, I feel terrible.
我总是想到他站在圣坛上
I keep picturing him standing at the altar,
"哈哈哈"的望着我
looking at me with so much lol.
是迈克斯
Oh. It"s Max.
我坠入爱河 爬不上岸了
"I"ve fallen...in love. And I can"t get up."
迈克斯
Oh...Max.
我俩活脱脱就是《老友记》的罗斯跟瑞秋
He"s the Ross to my Rachel.
还有条语音留言
You have a voicemail too.
播吧
Play it.
落跑新娘 我是你老公
Hey, runaway bride. It"s your husband.
40年了 我最想念克利夫兰两件东西
For 40 years, I"ve been missing two things from Cleveland,
你和奈特餐厅的熏牛肉
You and the pastrami at Nate"s.
说实话
To be honest,
两样都比我印象中肥了不少
you"re both a little fattier than I remember.
不过呢 妞 你还是很美啦
But hey, kid, you"re still gorgeous.
我爱你
And I love ya.
给我回电话哦 宝贝
Gimme a buzz, baby.
波比
Oh...Bobby.
我想念他难以捉摸的幽默感
I miss his subtle sense of humor.
你打算怎么办
What are you gonna do?
太乱套了
It"s all too much,
我得找个地方 好好想一想
and I have to get away somewhere to think.
我有个天大的好消息
I have got the most amazing news.
我要去纽约了
I"m going to New York.
经纪人帮我找了个活儿
My agent just booked me
以嘉宾身份做客新的早间脱口秀《瞎谈》
to be a guest on that new morning talk show, The Chatter.
那个巨烂的《观点》山寨版吗
That cheesy rip-off of The View?
一点都不山寨
It"s not a rip-off.
三个女人讨论一天的大事
It"s three women discussing vital issues of the day.
《观点》就是这样啊
How is that different?
《观点》有四个女的
Well, The View has four.
接下来更劲爆
And that"s the best part.
经纪人说《瞎谈》在寻找第四个主持人
My agent said that The Chatter is looking for a fourth too.
这是我重回全国人民视线的大好机会
This could be my chance to get back on national television.
我有个主意 我们都去纽约吧
I have a great idea. Why don"t we all go to New York?
爱尔卡 这样你就有时间好好想想了
Elka, that"ll give you time to think!
反正在他们赶来前把我带走就好
Just get me out of here before they come after me.
他们动作迟缓 但终究还是会杀到的
They"re slow, but they"ll be here.
我真是想不明白
I still can"t get over it.
你是众人哄抢的香饽饽
Everyone in the world wants to marry you,
我这块大饼白送都没人要
and here I am withering on the vine.
维多利亚不是要了吗
Victoria married you.
这事就当没发生过
It never happened.
我们四人必须对此婚礼
We will never speak about our wedding
守口如瓶
to anyone outside of this room.
我不是你妻子 你不是我丈夫
I"m not your wife. You"re not my husband.
为什么你一口咬定我是丈夫
Well, how come I have to be the husband?
我刚说了 当一切没发生过
I just said it never happened.
谁是丈夫不重要
It doesn"t matter who the husband is.
可你的直觉就是 我是丈夫
No, but your instinct was that I was the husband.
你没听进我说的任何一句话
You"re not listening to anything I"m saying.
是啊 当然 错的总是我
Oh, yeah, sure, of course. It"s always me.
你俩还真"不像"夫妻啊
Yeah, you two don"t seem married at all!
《燃情克利夫兰》
第三季 第一集
为什么我的咖啡杯是空的
Why is my coffee mug empty?
今天可是醉意周二 赶紧倒酒
It"s tipsy Tuesday. Wine me, people.
-很好 -主啊
- Good. - Dear lord,
如果你今天不能让我超赞
if you can"t make me great today,
求你让别人变得更糟吧
please make the others terrible.
维多利亚最好表现好点
Victoria had better be good.
她昨晚一直让我陪她练习接受采访
She kept me up all night practice interviewing her.
结婚刚两天 你就变成夫管严了啊
Married two days, and you"re already whipped.
顺便说句 我知道制作人
By the by, I understand that the producers
想要加入第四个主持人
are looking to add a fourth co-host,
不是我自卖自夸
And not to toot my own horn,
但还得夸啊
but...beep beep!
我有个很受欢迎的地方台节目
I have a wildly popular local show--
《你好啊 俄亥俄》
Oh, Hi! Ohio!
其实 我可谓是
In fact, I"m sort of the...
中东部的奥普拉
Oprah of the middle east.
俄亥俄州不是在中西部吗
I thought Ohio was in the midwest.
你想成另一个俄州了吧
I think you"re thinking of a different Ohio.
抱歉亲 制片人要的是拉拉主持人
Sorry, hon, but the producers are looking for a gay one.
跟《罗茜秀》和《艾伦秀》抢收视
You know, to compete with the Rosies and the Ellens.
[均为著名脱口秀女同主持人]
不会这么巧吧
Gay, you say.
比《观点》更愤青
And now, angrier than The View
比《对话》还话痨
and talkier than The Talk,
现在为您播出的是《瞎谈》
it"s... the Chatter!
各位观众早上好
Good morning, everybody,
本周节目的主题是肥皂剧
and welcome to soap opera week.
我们将陆续请到大家喜爱的电视明星
We"re gonna be talking to all your favorite stars
为了给我们这档节目让道
whose shows have been canceled
他们的剧都被砍了
to make room for this show.
大家欢迎第一位做客《瞎谈》的明星
So let"s meet our first guest chatterbox, shall we,
来自《明日边缘》的
from the Edge of Tomorrow...
维多利亚·蔡斯
Victoria Chase!
感谢大家的热情
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